Monday, July 12, 2010

Hopes and Dreams- Take 1

This last weekend I went with my roommates to Eliche Gardens. If you have never been, it is a theme park with a water them park attached. We had a great time like always—and yes, I actually wore my bathing suit. ;-)

As I am embarking on my weight loss journey, I get frustrated because I wish I could lose all of my weight super fast and not have to deal with the negatives involved with being a big person. I certainly do not like seeing myself in a bathing suit -- let alone have any one else seeing me in one. I hate going on a ride after finding out a bit too late that I cannot latch the harness completely because of my girth. I hate going to the dollar theatre and having to squeeze my bum into a too tight seat. I hate sitting in an airline that tries to save money by making seats fit for a 12 year old. It honestly depresses me and I just want to cry.

This last weekend was one of those times. I experienced these same frustrations/emotions last year, but didn’t really do anything about it. This year, I am determined to not live my life like this anymore. I know that losing weight means having a healthier body and being more attractive, but it also means not having to deal with things like what I listed above.

I have made a choice. I am going to eat right—as many days of the week that I can. I am going to try and get to the gym as often as I can. I am going to take my supplements like a good girl. I am NOT going to live in fear about what other people think of me, and I WILL be courageous and show people who I really am beyond what I look like.

I hate it when I or others have the mindset that who we are revolves around what we look like. It’s the whole mentality that your weight controls your personality and your emotions. Now don’t get me wrong. It can if you allow it to. But I refuse to let it any longer. I have lived almost 32 years under the weight “disguise” and I am TIRED of it. God made me to be a leader—a go getter—an encourager—a BEAUTIFUL women! AMEN!


  1. Oh dear Annjeri, my heart aches with your struggle. These "last straws" are the ones that will help drive you to make the decisive choice to never give up. And to finally live the life of a woman of dignity and grace in every way. That includes choosing to not live in the darkness of an addictive lifestyle.
    One day the struggles will be more and more worth it for you and you will make choices that reflect what you want the most.
    LIFE and life more abundantly without having to deal with shame.
    Keep putting it out there daughter. No secrets! Keep living in the light!
    I love you

  2. Thanks so much Mom. It really is a struggle- going from day to day, messing up and getting back on the wagon. Thanks for your encouragement. I love you to.

  3. I love you annjeri and I will be here hoopin and hollaring for you the whole time! I believe in you.