Friday, July 30, 2010

Praises, praises praises

So, today I consulted with my boss as well as our building services guy and we worked out a deal for my desk. If it works like they think it should, I think it will be perfect for me.

They are going to raise a side of my desk and add a computer monitor with a keyboard, and it will be connected to my regular computer so that I will not have to do anything but stand up and turn on the monitor. Yipppeee. This transition should happen Monday morning. Wish it were happening today, but I guess I will just have to be patient one more work day. Sigh.....

So, yesterday I had my last adjustment, and this morning my lower back was out again. Ugh! I had to go in and get another adjustment. I am praying that God will give me a brand new back. Sheesh!

So, this weekend I am going to focus on walking, walking, walking. Instead of doing the elliptical and bike, I will just take it easy and use the treadmill or walk outside. Hopefully that will not throw my back out any.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

It's me it's me it's me O' Lord, standing in the need of prayer

Hi all,
Sorry, long time in not posting, I know. This week has certainly been a challenge for me.

Dieting has been a yo yo thing for me last week, and also for this week as well. I have had a few setbacks that have frustrated me to no end. As I am writing this, I realize that making good choices even in the midst of my struggles will bring great rewards, so I need to keep that in mind.

I started my mini vacation last Thursday evening the 22nd and on Friday the 23 I cleaned, cleaned, cleaned and organized my room. I felt like my back was sore after it, but it felt really good to get it done. Then on Saturday the soreness increased and I realized that I probably did too much. Sunday it got worse and then by Monday morning (my last day of vacation) I could barely stand up straight. I was in so much pain it was all I could do to get up, eat, use the restroom and then lay down again. UGH!!! I went to the Chiro. earlier that day and got adjusted, which after that I was able to stand up straight and take a deep breath. Ever since then my back has progressively gotten a bit better but I am still in a lot of pain.

So, this is where I am at right now. I am dealing with serious back problems, trying to go to the gym and maintain movement to work out the kinks as well as stay in some sort of shape. I am extremely frustrated right now because for many years my back has kept me from doing what I love (Sports, hiking, standing for long periods of time, etc.). My prayer is that as I do the therapy, my back will begin to heal and I can move forward with my life. Right now I am stuck. Even house work is a challenge. Ugh! I so wanted to start a new painting while I had a break, but that didn't happen because of the pain.

So, here is my plan--I need to get a mechanical desk at work that allows me to either stand or sit (depending on what is comfortable at the time) but in order for me to get this, I have to have permission notes from my doctor. I already received one from my Chiropractor and now am waiting for my physician’s office to fax me theirs. This will help with some of the sublaxation in my back as well as take off a lot of the strain from my lower back. Sigh....hope they will let me have one. My job does not want to get one for me because they are so expensive. Also, I will try and maintain my exercise to 3-4 times a week and hopefully get back on counting my calories again. I do not want my physical issues to bring me down. They can so easily bring on depression and the “feeling sorry for myself” attitude, which I hate!

So, here is to praying away the pain and wishing for a brighter tomorrow. ;-)
On a happier note--I and my greatest friends/former roommates (CAMA) celebrated our birthday's together on Sunday. I was given 2 cake/cup cake/cookie decorating books that I am super excited to try out. I will post pictures hopefully from that fun celebration, as well as post updates on my future attemps and decorating deserts. Yippeee!!! ;-)

Friday, July 23, 2010

Setting goals and being inspired

Today is my first day of my summer "short" vacation. I am a bit sad because a friend of mine is getting married today in California, and I took the time off so that I could go. Alas, finances are short so I wasn't able to attend. But, I am still taking the time off for me, because I desperately need it.

Today, I had a fabulous hour of cardio at the gym. I did a little over 30 minutes on the elliptical and then 30 minutes on the stationary bike. I tried out the normal (sit up bike with the seat so small.....need I say more?). It hurt my Gluteus Maximus so badly I had to do the stationary. I guess my pelvis still needs a lot of work at the chiropractor before I can try out a spinning class. Ugh!!!

Anyway, I came home and decided I needed to set some goals. I know that healthy weight loss takes time, and a good weight loss is between 1.5 to 2 lbs per week. So, I took out my handy dandy purse calendar and set goals for myself each Friday. By December 31st, if I stay on plan then I should have lost 47.5 lbs. ;-) Wouldn't that be exciting? My journey is long, but that's OK. I want to get it off and keep it off--the right way.
I am going to start setting goals for each week as well. I want to maintain a 3-5 workout per week, and step it up a notch like I did today. It's more likely to look like a 4-5 workout week if I maintain good resistance training. I will add in daily goals of calorie maintenance a long with homework assigned by my chiropractor. I have to use this weird neck stretching contraption that we in my house like to call the "torture device". I will post picture a bit later. Right now I can't find the cable to connect to the computer.

On another note: I am going to start painting another picture. I really want to paint a picture for my room. My walls are completely bare and I have lived in this house for almost 2 years now. NOT ACCEPTABLE. ;-) I might paint some kind of floral pattern. I might even paint a prophetic picture that I have had in my head since being in YWAM. We will see. More to come on that.

Have a great day everyone.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Great news

Ok, so yesterday I wrote about starting fresh--I weighed myself this morning and found that I am right back to were I was when I first lost the 7.5 lbs. So exciting!!! So, my goal this week is to lose 2-3 lbs.

Also, I was talking to my mom last night who works at Weight Watchers, and she finds these great quotes for weight loss. Thought I would share.

A plateau is like a pebble.

Hold it too close to your eye and it fills the whole world and puts everything out of focus.

Hold it at a proper viewing distance and it can be examined and classified.

Throw it at your feet and it can be seen in its true setting – just one more, tiny bump on the pathway to success.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Another Day....

So, today is Wednesday, and I have been thinking a lot about where I am and how I have been doing. Unfortunately, as far as the eating and exercise go, I haven't been doing as good as I would like.

I have been thinking about everything that I have been going through in the past 2 weeks, and it is a bit overwhelming. To start off, I was doing great with my eating--counting my calories, focusing on the food pyramid, etc. I also started focusing on my water intake--drinking 60-100 ounces of water a day and taking daily vitamins every day. On top of that exercising 3-5 times a week. Oh, I guess that's not all. ;-) I started going to the chiropractor last week, and now have to do that 3 times a week, as well as use this weird neck stretching contraption every day that I am not in the Chiro's office. Goodness!!!!!

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed when you try and do everything at once? They are all certainly very important. I cannot live my life without any one of those things I just listed. But here is the deal. I got overwhelmed, stressed out, exhausted. I kept up the practice with good water intake (with the exception on last weekend) and taking my vitamins daily. I go to the Chiro. when I have to and get messages every week (which are quite painful but necessary).

Tomorrow is going to be my "Friday" since I am taking 4 days off, so I decided to weigh myself on Thursday. I am going to be intentional and write down my "new weight" in a little book. I am going to consider it the start of my weight loss journey. I know it's really not the start, but in regards to keeping things on paper, it will be. I know I will fail, but I know I will pick myself again too. That's ok. With everything I have been reading and watching from peoples blog posts, to magazines and watching Losing it with Jillian, I know it's a journey. It is a mindset change. It is learning to live and start loving myself and becoming comfortable in my own skin. I am tired of being stressed out over losing weight. How is that going to help me get the pounds off? From what I hear, stress is a BIG factor in weight gain and I certainly cannot afford to have that be a factor in my life. So here goes. I can't expect perfection since I am trying to change MY ENTIRE LIFE all at once. Literally. But, in time I will see progress.

Have you ever watched Losing it with Jillian? Man o’ Man is that show good! I want to cry every time I watch it. It motivates me, and show’s me where I would be at if I didn’t take charge of my life. With God’s divine intervention, and the skills that He has given me to survive, I will master this and be successful.

On another note: My dad was admitted into the hospital yesterday evening for a possible heart attack. They thankfully ruled out heart attack, but he has been experiencing dizziness, tunnel vision, nausea, sweats and very very low blood pressure for the last 3 weeks. Of course it got so bad that finally he went to the Dr. Yesterday and they sent him to the emergency room.

This makes me so sad. I have watched my dad, my entire life, be stressed out and overly anxious about everything. I have had to live with a father who didn't know how to handle things properly and apparently still does not. Now, it's taking a toll on his body. I on the other hand notice that I do much of the same thing. I am a worrier, stressed out and highly anxious. I can't stand it and totally do not want to end up in the same place where he is right now. I see all of these issues show up in my body in regards to: High blood pressure, pre-diabetic, acid reflux etc. You name it!!!

So, here is to a new start tomorrow. I plan on doing everything I can to do a good job and try try try to not let myself get overwhelmed and stressed out. I will be victorious in Jesus’ name! Amen!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Weigh in Day

Today is July 16th, 2010-- Weigh in day. Well, if you read my post yesterday, I mentioned the what if's. Today, I think I might have gained a little. Not by much, but still a bit disconcerting. Sigh.....

Well, I am learning, and like my cousing Cindie said-- weight loss is learning about eating and it is a life long process. I am dissapointed in myself, but at the same time it's not the end of the world.

This week is a new week. I am heading to Gunnison with my roommate. I won't have complete control over everything I eat, but I am going to try and be mindfull of my portions and water intake.

On that note, for those of you who do not know what Gunnison is, it is a small little town about 3-4 hours away from Colorado Springs. My roommates parents live there, and that is also where Monika went to college. I love going with her to visit because it is so quiet and peacefull. This is called "Cattlemen's day's".

They have a rodeo and other events. We are also going to go to the lake and swim, maybe do some fishing at some point.

More pictures to come later.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Struggles and successes

Hi all. So, today being Thursday, it really feels like it should be Friday. I will be honest with you. My journey through weight loss has seemed to be a yoyo this week. I didn't really keep track of my calories, but I kept track with eating veggies. Fruits on the other hand were not my strong point.

Anyway, this week seems to be dragging by. I have had some days where I feel emotional and a bit distressed over my progress so far. As I was reading another person's blog today, I thought I would borrow a line from their most recent post:

"Dealing with these powerful self-image hang-ups head on is a very small price to pay for the realization of a dream. And in dealing with these issues, I'm coming out stronger for the effort. This transformation stuff is so much more than physical my friend."

I wanted to cry when I read this. THIS IS SO TRUE!!!! Even though I haven't reached my ultimate goal, I still struggle with the self image stuff, and I know that even if I mess up, I HAVE to get back on track. It will be soooooo worth it in the end.

It has been driving me nuts because I so wanted to weigh myself almost every day. I told myself that I would only weigh in every Friday because I didn't want to become obsessed with this weight loss thing. I can totally see why I made that decision, because this week has been a struggle. My thoughts bounce around with--"What if I didn't lose weight because I didn't count my calories?" to "I wonder if I lost anything because I have been chugging water and trying my best to work out every day?". Ugh!!! I hate hate hate thinking about losing weight and eating--ALL OF THE TIME!!

I have had some good things happen this week though. Like I said before, I have been focusing on my water intake and exercise this week. So far, I have worked out every day--whether it be going to the gym or taking a walk at work. I also started going to the Chiropractor (which will be another post all together) and have had my first full body message in years.

Tomorrow I weigh myself and will give you the update then. I am crossing my fingers but I guess if I show no weight loss or even weight gain, it will give me an idea of how bad I do without keeping track of my food intake. But, if I lose, all the better right? ;-)

Monday, July 12, 2010

Hopes and Dreams- Take 1

This last weekend I went with my roommates to Eliche Gardens. If you have never been, it is a theme park with a water them park attached. We had a great time like always—and yes, I actually wore my bathing suit. ;-)

As I am embarking on my weight loss journey, I get frustrated because I wish I could lose all of my weight super fast and not have to deal with the negatives involved with being a big person. I certainly do not like seeing myself in a bathing suit -- let alone have any one else seeing me in one. I hate going on a ride after finding out a bit too late that I cannot latch the harness completely because of my girth. I hate going to the dollar theatre and having to squeeze my bum into a too tight seat. I hate sitting in an airline that tries to save money by making seats fit for a 12 year old. It honestly depresses me and I just want to cry.

This last weekend was one of those times. I experienced these same frustrations/emotions last year, but didn’t really do anything about it. This year, I am determined to not live my life like this anymore. I know that losing weight means having a healthier body and being more attractive, but it also means not having to deal with things like what I listed above.

I have made a choice. I am going to eat right—as many days of the week that I can. I am going to try and get to the gym as often as I can. I am going to take my supplements like a good girl. I am NOT going to live in fear about what other people think of me, and I WILL be courageous and show people who I really am beyond what I look like.

I hate it when I or others have the mindset that who we are revolves around what we look like. It’s the whole mentality that your weight controls your personality and your emotions. Now don’t get me wrong. It can if you allow it to. But I refuse to let it any longer. I have lived almost 32 years under the weight “disguise” and I am TIRED of it. God made me to be a leader—a go getter—an encourager—a BEAUTIFUL women! AMEN!

Friday, July 9, 2010

New week starting

Today is July 9th, 2010. I weighed myself this morning and I lost another 2 pounds. Yipppeeee!!! ;-) The last time I weighed in was July 2nd and I was about 5.5 lbs down then. So, I have lost a total of about 7.5 lbs. So exited!!!

Now, here is the hard part. On the 4th of July weekend, I broke down and ate a very large brot and other things filled with high calories. Including chips and dip, chips and dip, chips and dip and did I mention chips and dip? Ugh!!! This is why I should not allow dip in my house. I will consume it!!! YIKES! I think that if I had not eaten all of that, I would have lost more weight than I did.

So another lesson learned. I am choosing to not allow myself to remain where I have fallen. I choose to pick myself up and continue on. I have good day's and bad day's. In other words, today is probably not a good day eating wise. I forgot my lunch and my breakfast, so what do I have? Bagels and cream cheese. Oh well. But I plan on doing better tonight and the rest of the week.

On another note, I have been experiencing a ton of pain for years in my back. It just seems to get worse as I get older. I have fallen 3 too many times, as well as having car accident injuries and sports injuries from high school. Some co-workers of mine told me about a Chiropractor's office that takes our insurance that not only does adjustments, but they do full body messages on top of that. Yesterday I went to check it out. They are absolutely fabulous--well as far as who they are and what they are all about anyway. They really seek to educate their clients on health and wellness for thier bones, muscles and nervous system. I was told that there are numerous nerves that are from your spine that connect with other tissues in your body and if a nerve is pinched, then things like the thyroid, digestion system, etc. may not be working properly. On Monday I go for my first adjustment and then Tuesday I have a follow-up and then my first message. I am so excited. I feel that this could help me with my weight loss plan because with time I will feel better, stronger and much more motivated to do different physical activities that I can only dream about doing right now.

So hears to a new week. Tomorrow (Saturday) my roommates and I are going to Eliches. That will be another day where it will be hard to actually count all of my calories but I can still choose to eat healthy, and watch my portions. Oh, and try and drink as much water as possible. On Sunday, I plan on getting back on the Calorie counting train.

By the way, this feels really good writing this all out and being held accountable not only to myself, but to you all who read my blog. I know that God wants me to be honest with where I am at and not hide. So, here is to being transparent on where I am at today. Happy eating everyone!!!! ;-0

Friday, July 2, 2010

The good and the bad

So, as you can see, here is an updated shot of me, which was done on Sunday June 27th, 2010. I am marking that day, because as of today I am now just less than 6 pounds lighter. Yipppppeeeeee!!!!! I weighed myself this morning, and was so excited to see the loss.

Anyway-- onto the good and the bad. Yesterday was day 4 of my journey. I was doing really well up until it was time to eat dinner. Now, let's back track just a bit to earlier in the day. I had just had a really good e-mail conversation with a friend of mine; discussing weight loss and things I could read to enhance my journey to good health. Anyway, she suggested not going out to dinner or eating out with friends for at least 2 weeks just so that I could get a handle on what I am doing. On this I agreed. I really didn't want to mess up.

So, this is what happened last night. I made myself a healthy sandwich because we were going to see a movie outside in one of the shopping centers here in town. My roommate didn't have dinner so we went to Panera bread. (Can you see where this is going?????). We enter Panera and I began to think about all of the reasons why I wanted Panera verses my light sandwich waiting for me in the car. Well, sure enough I caved and purchased a Turkey Artichoke sandwich. Ugh!!!!! It sure was tasty. I didn't eat the whole thing though. I was extremely tempted to eat the other half of the sandwich during the movie, but I didn't. Thanks goodness because I woke up with heartburn!!!!

Anyway, it gets even better. I ATE-Consumed-ENJOYED....guiltily a LARGE chocolate covered banana from The Chocolate Factory. I DON'T even want to know what the calorie intake of that was. Later I was like, WHY DID YOU DO THAT???? What about the whole idea of delaying pleasure for something better?

So, here is my thought on all of this on this fine, HOT Colorado morning. I know I beat myself up over things like this and then I fall--HARD! So, this morning I picked up right where I left off, and am choosing to even eat healthier than I planned yesterday!!!!! So, here is to another 5+ pounds lost as of this morning, and I am looking forward to seeing where I am at next Friday.
Hope you are all doing well.