Struggles and successes

Hi all. So, today being Thursday, it really feels like it should be Friday. I will be honest with you. My journey through weight loss has seemed to be a yoyo this week. I didn't really keep track of my calories, but I kept track with eating veggies. Fruits on the other hand were not my strong point.

Anyway, this week seems to be dragging by. I have had some days where I feel emotional and a bit distressed over my progress so far. As I was reading another person's blog today, I thought I would borrow a line from their most recent post:

"Dealing with these powerful self-image hang-ups head on is a very small price to pay for the realization of a dream. And in dealing with these issues, I'm coming out stronger for the effort. This transformation stuff is so much more than physical my friend."

I wanted to cry when I read this. THIS IS SO TRUE!!!! Even though I haven't reached my ultimate goal, I still struggle with the self image stuff, and I know that even if I mess up, I HAVE to get back on track. It will be soooooo worth it in the end.

It has been driving me nuts because I so wanted to weigh myself almost every day. I told myself that I would only weigh in every Friday because I didn't want to become obsessed with this weight loss thing. I can totally see why I made that decision, because this week has been a struggle. My thoughts bounce around with--"What if I didn't lose weight because I didn't count my calories?" to "I wonder if I lost anything because I have been chugging water and trying my best to work out every day?". Ugh!!! I hate hate hate thinking about losing weight and eating--ALL OF THE TIME!!

I have had some good things happen this week though. Like I said before, I have been focusing on my water intake and exercise this week. So far, I have worked out every day--whether it be going to the gym or taking a walk at work. I also started going to the Chiropractor (which will be another post all together) and have had my first full body message in years.

Tomorrow I weigh myself and will give you the update then. I am crossing my fingers but I guess if I show no weight loss or even weight gain, it will give me an idea of how bad I do without keeping track of my food intake. But, if I lose, all the better right? ;-)

Hopes and Dreams- Take 1

This last weekend I went with my roommates to Eliche Gardens. If you have never been, it is a theme park with a water them park attached. We had a great time like always—and yes, I actually wore my bathing suit. ;-)

As I am embarking on my weight loss journey, I get frustrated because I wish I could lose all of my weight super fast and not have to deal with the negatives involved with being a big person. I certainly do not like seeing myself in a bathing suit -- let alone have any one else seeing me in one. I hate going on a ride after finding out a bit too late that I cannot latch the harness completely because of my girth. I hate going to the dollar theatre and having to squeeze my bum into a too tight seat. I hate sitting in an airline that tries to save money by making seats fit for a 12 year old. It honestly depresses me and I just want to cry.

This last weekend was one of those times. I experienced these same frustrations/emotions last year, but didn’t really do anything about it. This year, I am determined to not live my life like this anymore. I know that losing weight means having a healthier body and being more attractive, but it also means not having to deal with things like what I listed above.

I have made a choice. I am going to eat right—as many days of the week that I can. I am going to try and get to the gym as often as I can. I am going to take my supplements like a good girl. I am NOT going to live in fear about what other people think of me, and I WILL be courageous and show people who I really am beyond what I look like.

I hate it when I or others have the mindset that who we are revolves around what we look like. It’s the whole mentality that your weight controls your personality and your emotions. Now don’t get me wrong. It can if you allow it to. But I refuse to let it any longer. I have lived almost 32 years under the weight “disguise” and I am TIRED of it. God made me to be a leader—a go getter—an encourager—a BEAUTIFUL women! AMEN!

New week starting

Today is July 9th, 2010. I weighed myself this morning and I lost another 2 pounds. Yipppeeee!!! ;-) The last time I weighed in was July 2nd and I was about 5.5 lbs down then. So, I have lost a total of about 7.5 lbs. So exited!!!

Now, here is the hard part. On the 4th of July weekend, I broke down and ate a very large brot and other things filled with high calories. Including chips and dip, chips and dip, chips and dip and did I mention chips and dip? Ugh!!! This is why I should not allow dip in my house. I will consume it!!! YIKES! I think that if I had not eaten all of that, I would have lost more weight than I did.

So another lesson learned. I am choosing to not allow myself to remain where I have fallen. I choose to pick myself up and continue on. I have good day's and bad day's. In other words, today is probably not a good day eating wise. I forgot my lunch and my breakfast, so what do I have? Bagels and cream cheese. Oh well. But I plan on doing better tonight and the rest of the week.

On another note, I have been experiencing a ton of pain for years in my back. It just seems to get worse as I get older. I have fallen 3 too many times, as well as having car accident injuries and sports injuries from high school. Some co-workers of mine told me about a Chiropractor's office that takes our insurance that not only does adjustments, but they do full body messages on top of that. Yesterday I went to check it out. They are absolutely fabulous--well as far as who they are and what they are all about anyway. They really seek to educate their clients on health and wellness for thier bones, muscles and nervous system. I was told that there are numerous nerves that are from your spine that connect with other tissues in your body and if a nerve is pinched, then things like the thyroid, digestion system, etc. may not be working properly. On Monday I go for my first adjustment and then Tuesday I have a follow-up and then my first message. I am so excited. I feel that this could help me with my weight loss plan because with time I will feel better, stronger and much more motivated to do different physical activities that I can only dream about doing right now.

So hears to a new week. Tomorrow (Saturday) my roommates and I are going to Eliches. That will be another day where it will be hard to actually count all of my calories but I can still choose to eat healthy, and watch my portions. Oh, and try and drink as much water as possible. On Sunday, I plan on getting back on the Calorie counting train.

By the way, this feels really good writing this all out and being held accountable not only to myself, but to you all who read my blog. I know that God wants me to be honest with where I am at and not hide. So, here is to being transparent on where I am at today. Happy eating everyone!!!! ;-0

The good and the bad

So, as you can see, here is an updated shot of me, which was done on Sunday June 27th, 2010. I am marking that day, because as of today I am now just less than 6 pounds lighter. Yipppppeeeeee!!!!! I weighed myself this morning, and was so excited to see the loss.

Anyway-- onto the good and the bad. Yesterday was day 4 of my journey. I was doing really well up until it was time to eat dinner. Now, let's back track just a bit to earlier in the day. I had just had a really good e-mail conversation with a friend of mine; discussing weight loss and things I could read to enhance my journey to good health. Anyway, she suggested not going out to dinner or eating out with friends for at least 2 weeks just so that I could get a handle on what I am doing. On this I agreed. I really didn't want to mess up.

So, this is what happened last night. I made myself a healthy sandwich because we were going to see a movie outside in one of the shopping centers here in town. My roommate didn't have dinner so we went to Panera bread. (Can you see where this is going?????). We enter Panera and I began to think about all of the reasons why I wanted Panera verses my light sandwich waiting for me in the car. Well, sure enough I caved and purchased a Turkey Artichoke sandwich. Ugh!!!!! It sure was tasty. I didn't eat the whole thing though. I was extremely tempted to eat the other half of the sandwich during the movie, but I didn't. Thanks goodness because I woke up with heartburn!!!!

Anyway, it gets even better. I ATE-Consumed-ENJOYED....guiltily a LARGE chocolate covered banana from The Chocolate Factory. I DON'T even want to know what the calorie intake of that was. Later I was like, WHY DID YOU DO THAT???? What about the whole idea of delaying pleasure for something better?

So, here is my thought on all of this on this fine, HOT Colorado morning. I know I beat myself up over things like this and then I fall--HARD! So, this morning I picked up right where I left off, and am choosing to even eat healthier than I planned yesterday!!!!! So, here is to another 5+ pounds lost as of this morning, and I am looking forward to seeing where I am at next Friday.
Hope you are all doing well.
Annjeri

Day 3- Weight Loss Challenge

So I am making my way through day 3 of my weight loss challenge. I have to say that it is hard.......HARD!!! ;-) Actually, it's probably not as hard as I tend to make it out to be, but it certainly is not fun. I guess when I check the scales on Friday I am hoping for some progress--at least to feel like my hard work pays off. What I am trying to do is cut WAY down on my portion sizes and eat more veggies and fruits. This is also a bit difficult because there are so many calories in many of the foods we eat today including but not limited to: yogurt, cottage cheese, crackers, etc. and they do not even fill you up. Any suggestions on healthy snacks that are high in fiber, low in carbs and low in cals?

Yesterday I was supposed to meet with a personal trainer (who by the way didn't show up because they failed to tell her she had the appointment). So, I have to reschedule for another time soon. I am hoping to get some good pointers though. There was another trainer at the gym walking around yesterday asking if anyone wanted to sign up for free nutrition classes, so hopefully I will learn more there as well.

Anyway, last night I made a Weight Watchers meal. I have made this before, just not WW style. Here is the recipe if any of you are interested. I thought it was pretty yummy. I didn't have the low fat cheese that it calls for, so I just added a bit more of the Parm. Cheese. That is also something hard to find in the stores (Fat Free Parm. Cheese). All I could find was Low fat. Sooo... I guestimated on the calories and added more calories to the meal than it said because my ingredients didn't match perfectly with theirs.

Goulash Casserole
1 pound ground beef, extra lean - browned and drained
1 cup onion - chopped
1 clove garlic - minced
14 ounces Pasta Sauce, 5 Brothers, Fresh Tomato and Basil
8 ounces tomato sauce
6 ounces tomato paste
3/4 cup water
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 cup corn, frozen
7 ounces Rotini - cooked and drained
10 ounces spinach, frozen - thawed and drained
1/2 cup Egg Beaters¨ 99% Egg Substitute
4 ounces cheddar cheese, lowfat -- shredded
2 slices Bread, Light 7 Grain, Pepperidge Farm -- crumbled
1/4 cup Fat-free Parmesan Cheese

Preheat oven to 350° F. Spray a 13 inch by 9 inch by 2 inch cake pan. In large saucepan over medium heat, cook beef, onion and garlic until meat is no longer pink and vegetables are tender. Drain. Add the next 8 ingredients and bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for 10 minutes.

Stir in pasta, spinach, egg substitute, shredded cheese and bread crumbs. Stir to combine.

Pour into prepared cake pan. Sprinkle with parmesan cheese. Cover and bake at 350° F. for 30 to 35 minutes or until hot and bubbly. Let stand 10 minutes. Cut into 12 equal servings. Can freeze leftovers.

Serves 12.

Per serving: 246 Calories (kcal); 8g Total Fat; (29% calories from fat); 16g Protein; 28g Carbohydrate; 30mg Cholesterol; 613mg Sodium Fiber: 4
Food Exchanges: 1 Grain (Starch); 1 1/2 Lean Meat; 1 Vegetable; 0 Fruit; 1/2 Fat; 0 Other Carbohydrates

WW Points: 5 pt.

Weight Loss week 1

So, last week I did horrible on watching what I eat and doing excersize. I played Volley Ball last Monday, but that was it. Ugh!!

Yesterday was Day #1 of getting back on the band wagon. I made good and bad choices yesterday in my eating. For example: All of my food that I ate was perfectly fine, I just shouldn't have had that can of sugary Pepsi which cost me 150 calories down the drain---- literally. ;-(

So, today I am really watching my portions and trying hard to eat the right snacks. By the way, has anyone ever had "Happy Cow Cheese"? I have been eating the light version and it is sooooooo yummy. I eat the cheese with Garlic Herb flavored "All Bran crackers". Supper yummy and it certainly takes the hunger pains away.

Tonight I go back to the gym and meet with a personal trainer. We get 2 fee visits with a trainer with our membership, and I have been at this gym for over a year and have never used it. Now is the time to get serious. Depending on finances, I may even hire them to continue to train me, but we will see.

Summer Fun....

I have to shout out that I absolutely love summer. Now, I am not talking about the sweltering heat-- you know, the type of heat that pours sweat down into your eyes and creates the big huge wet blotch in the middle of your back? Yup- not that type of heat. No, I am talking about the opportunities that summer brings our way.

I went to a volley ball event with a bunch of church friends at a local park. The weather was absolutely phenomenal! I remember playing VB in Arizona in high school and absolutely loving it. I need to seriously practice my bump-set-spike and my serves, but still I love it. I played the game barefoot and it was glorious!

This is what I love about summer. We get to play outside and eat yummy BBQ. Enjoy morning or evening walks, play volley ball in the park or even go swimming. How about Frisbee or out door movies?

I decided that this year was going to be a year of new beginnings--a year where dead dreams and visions come back to life. What a better way to start this process then to get a yearly fishing pass? I was so excited when my roommate and I decided to do this together. I didn’t have a fishing pole, tackle box or anything that goes on the fishing line. So, we headed off to Wal-Mart and low and behold, they had the PINK pole that I was wanting!!!! Yes you heard me right, PINK. LOL! ;-) I wanted a pink tackle box to go with it but they didn’t have any, so I bought one that had red in it. If you are wondering if PINK is my favorite color, well it’s not. I actually wanted a pole that color because I thought it was funny. Most people have “Manly” colored rods, but I wanted to be different. In a way, it was part of my creative side to throw out a splash of color.

Anyway, we went fishing at Rampart Reservoir. It was an amazing place. The trees were plush green with blue waters. A bit of a breeze came in so it made the heat not so unbearable. Monika and I sat were out there for several hours talking and reading. I got 3 nibbles on my line but no bites. Then, just before we were about to leave, Monika got a bite that almost pulled her pole out of her chair. She had just gotten up to put something away and then her pole started bending. I wish you were all there to see our first catch. We were probably the loudest people on the whole lake—we were sooooo excited. The fish was a 13 incher and we ate it last night. So yummy! I can’t wait to catch more fish soon.
So, what are your dreams for this summer? Do you have any special plans? What would you like to do that you haven’t done in a long time? Please share. I love hearing your stories too.