Vision Painting-Take One

I am very excited about this particular blog post because I get to reveal to you a prophetic vision God gave me a long time ago. He continues to give me many visions, especially while I am in worship, but this particular vision has come back often. Every time I see it, He show's me different aspects of His heart.

Although the painting is by far perfect if I were to compare it to what I am actually seeing in my head, it is perfect in the fact that I was able to put it on canvas!!!! WOW! I have been sooo intimidated for years of painting from just out of my head and heart with the flow of the Holy Spirit, verses finding a dance painting out in cyberspace and trying to paint that. I am always getting frustrated with my paintings because I can't get the skin right, or the head is too small for the body, or this proportion or that angle is all wrong!!!! Grrrr..... This time, I can see past the imperfections and get excited because I went with obedience and painted from GOD, and not MYSELF. ;-)

So, here is my interpretation of the picture that I received......

I believe that it is Gods heart to father the fatherless, care for the hurting, the broken heart's, the sick, and comfort those who have no one else to care for them. God has given me only a small, incy tincy glimpse into His Father Heart. This picture portrays His loving hands scooping up a broken vessel. The vessel/person is now resting in Him, being restored and renewed.

The picture of the world represents every person on earth-- no one is left behind.
The broken pottery bellow the hands represents the old person falling away while the new person is resting in His hands.

Here are just some different views of the same painting. I wanted you to capture all of the details.

A new start...

So yesterday I began my calorie counting. A friend of mine at work sent me this spreadsheet that helps calculate all of your calories for the day, but also has a bunch of food items already programed into it to make it easier. I love it, so along with the online Calorie Counter and this spreadsheet, it makes life a bit easier. Oh yeah, and my friend gave me a calorie book to use and I can keep that in my purse. So yesterday for the most part was a pretty good day. Today however didn't start out too well. Here is how it went:

I was gathering all of the items of food for the day including lunch and snacks. Notice that I left off breakfast. I was concentrating so much on what I needed for those times in the day when I knew I would crash from low blood sugar and hunger, I totally forgot breakfast.

So anyway, I also made a lemon pie last night for a work/birthday celebration and had to get that out the door along with everything else. So I left the house and when I was almost to work I realized I totally forgot breakfeast. Geeez~ The only convenient places to go are Starbucks and Breugers Bagels, both of which are HIGH in calories and fat. Ugh!!! So I made a choice, I went to Starbucks.

Now, to all of you readers out there, let me tell you, I LOVE the scones there. They have the most amazing Cranberry Orange scone known to man!! So, what did I do? I got myself a scone and a Tall Skinny White Mocha. You know it!!! It was delicious--until I looked up the calorie count for both items. Get ready for this, are you sitting down?..........Cranberry Orange Scone= 460 calories. Tall Skinny White Mocha= 270 calories. This gives me a grand total for JUST breakfast of 730 calories. YIKES!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

So, note to self-- I cannot have the starbucks coffee with the scone just anytime I want. Yikes, that is such a waste of calories. Sigh.......But, I think it's ok to do it once in a while, it just takes up half of that day's calorie allowance.

Anyway, I am cruising through the day, and unfortunately will have a higher calorie intake, but I am also still trying to have an even balance of dairy, fruits and veggies. Oh, and remember that I mentioned the Lemon pie earlier? I leaked all over my clothes going out the door ( I didn't notice this until I got to work) and it leaked on my passenger seat in my car. Grrrrrr...... Let's just say it was an emotional start to the day, but I am choosing to not allow it to ruin my entire day.

Thanks for listening. ;-)

Weight Loss

I know I know I know, we hear about weight loss all over the place. But common, soooo many people are struggling with it now-a-days. I am too, and it's really frustrating. I am encouraged though, because I have family and friends who are working on the same goals---becoming healthy and that is what it is really all about, right?

So today I was watching the show "Losing it with Jillian". If you have never watched it, let me tell you, you will cry and laugh and then want to jump up and rush to the gym....like NOW!!!! So, I started eating an apple, which I wasn't hungry for, but I knew that if I went to the gym without some sort of healthy substance in my stomach, I might want to pass out. ;-)

Any who's, while I was watching the show, I realized that for some time when the subject of me losing weight comes up, I have conflicting emotions. One side of me really, really wants to be healthy, skinny, fit and have a great long lasting life. The other side of me, the one that tries to protect itself says "Whats the point?".
I mean, common, "Whats the point???????". The point is, do you want to die or do you want to live? Why is it that I have such a hard time sticking to losing weight?

Here is the reason that I know of right now, but I am sure God will reveal more as I work my way through this. Weight loss isn't just about the pounds and food you put in your mouth. It's about the walls we put up, the boundaries and gates we built and the foundations that were laid earlier on in life, and then moving on to adulthood. Some of these things were healthy, but obviously most of them were not. If they were all healthy, then I wouldn't be in the place I am in today, now would I?
I am not trying to beat myself up here. I am just trying to be honest and come to some reality that it is all more than I myself can handle. I can be in control of what I eat and how often I work out. But what about the emotional and mental stuff? I can't do that on my own. I do have to be willing to give it up to have a better life.

Anyway, I came to this conclusion last night, but it hit me today as I watched the show. It was an O-MY-GOSH moment in realizing that there is a part of me that cannot handle the idea of losing weight because someone might see the real me, or someone might get too close and I might get hurt. But I guess to also face the real news is that regardless if I am skinny or not, all of those things could happen anyway.

Sigh....... I know this will all work out. I am learning every day. I can only take it one day at a time. I can only do one workout out at a time, and eat one apple or salad at a time. Can I cry now????? Alas, this too shall pass.

Obedience

Today, as I was listening to the Dave Ramsey show I got to thinking about obedience. I cannot even tell you how beneficial it is to live life in obedience according to how God has asked us to live. Obedience comes in many forms, it just depends on each person and their purpose according to Gods instructions.

But he who looks carefully into the faultless law, the [law] of liberty, and is faithful to it and perseveres in looking into it, being not a heedless listener who forgets but an active doer [who obeys], he shall be blessed in his doing (his life of obedience). James 1: 25 (From the Amplifed Bible)

It puts a smile on my face when I realize that because of my obedience, God blesses me in different ways. For example, being obedient in sticking to my budget, I was able to pay off my student loans last month. Then today, I was able to pay my car tags in full without worrying if I had to save up for the payment.

I fall a lot, but then I pick myself up and get back on the budget. I know that if I stick to it long enough, the times that I do fall it won't hurt as much and I won't have to spend as much time trying to fix the mess when I did fall.

The other way I can be obedient is in my diet. You probably read in my last post about my health issues regarding allergies to certain foods. Well, this month I am going to concentrate on not only my budget, but also to what I eat, and make sure that I excersize more. I am so excited to see the results on these things.
More to come.......

Getting a clue to life.......

This has been a long time in coming, and I have put it off way too long! I have known that I might be allergic to certain foods that I eat, and I am quite certain some of them are yeast, and wheat--maybe even gluten. I am not sure if it is all three, but I will soon be able to tell.

So here's the scoop. For years, since I was a small child I would live in pain with really bad stomach aches either after I ate bread, and sometimes it was a combination of different things like stress and the wrong foods. I just lived with it. Even to this day I just lived with it, thinking this is a norm for me, so well.... just live with it. I don't want to live with it any longer though. I am tired of being in pain, and then having to miss out on things because I feel "toxic" and out of sorts---being constantly bloated and depressed because I do not feel well.

I have decided to lay off bread for the most part and just see how I feel. I was talking to a friend the other day and she suggested that I just eat tortilla's if I feel the need to eat bread, and then if the tortilla's give me pain, then I will know that it could be something else.

Anyway, this is hard for me because I love bread. For so many years I would put what I loved ahead of the need to feel better. I know it's an emotional thing, but I need to do this. It's a bummer. Why do we have to suffer like this? Ugh!!!
But, I am at the point in realizing that my health and the way I live are so much more important than bread. Who would have thunk? Sheesh!

I am thinking of visiting a nutritionist and getting help on figuring this whole thing out. I know so many people have had to remove things like bread, sugar and dairy from their diets because for some reason their body's react differently to them. I know that these people have pushed their way through, and they are better for it. So why can't I? I can do this. I just need a little assistance and God's grace to persevere.

Clouds

It’s time to put that creativity to the test. I am finally feeling ready to start painting. I am actually really excited about it. I might even throw in a little uncertainty in there, but none the less I am ready to begin. I am not sure when the last time was that I touched a paint brush. I know it was last year some time, but goodness, it seems like forever.

When we went to Kansas, I think God opened my eyes even more to the beauty of his nature. The things I saw almost took my breath away. I cannot explain my fascination, but I truly believe that it is Devine intent to show me ways that I can worship Him. Does this make sense? As we were driving to and from Kansas, I could not take my eyes off the skies. The clouds were absolutely gorgeous!!!! They kept changing, moving, forming, and evolving. The sky was such a beautiful blue, and then at times it would turn gray. It seemed as though God was swooshing the clouds here or there just to see what shapes he could make.

Besides all of that, it has taken me a while to feel inspired to paint again. I was going through a lot of emotional healing this past year and half, so it was hard for me to get into it. The last thing I started painting was this dance picture which involved a ton of skin. Skin is NOT easy to paint. Skin has to be translucent and I cannot even tell you how hard it is to do that. Besides, when I paint, I tend to use A LOT of paint because I like texture, and I like certain parts of a picture to stand out. So, I got frustrated and stopped.

Anyway, I wanted to start practicing how to paint sky and clouds. Once we got back from our trip, I thought how great it is to have the opportunity to use some of these photos that I took as my starting point. I am not really sure what it is going to look like because I am still discovering my own style of painting. I try to paint things as natural looking as possible, but common, how natural of a look can you get when you are an amateur at this, plus I use acrylic paints, so it is not as easy to blend things.

Here are just a few of the photos that I have with me of the pictures I took of clouds. I am not sure which one I am going to use, but I will try and post an update as I move toward the finish.

IHOP- Kansas City Missouri

Have you ever gone to the International House of Prayer, or perhaps visited their site or listened to their music? Well, I have always wanted to go. I have heard so many people talk about what a great experience it is. I will post pictures a bit later.

The weekend of April 30th-May 3rd my roommates and I went on an adventure. This was an adventure that had no boundaries where God was concerned. We literally did not know what to expect. This may be a bit lengthy, but here is our story in a nutshell:

On Friday morning we set out a little before 5am. We packed the car, and off we went. It was a great time of good conversation, laughter and many pit stops. ;-) Anyway, it took about 9.5 hours to get there. Our friend Kari's mom took us in and let us stay at her beautiful home and we are all so thankful for that. She made us dinner and we sat and talked for a while, then went to join a service at IHOP.
We arrived at IHOP around 8:40ish and found that it was closed. Some girls saw us walk around and asked if we were looking for the Prayer Room and directed us to get on a shuttle to go to a different location. So off we went. There were a couple of people already on the bus, and the guy that sat behind us asked if he could pray over us. It was a great prayer and a perfect "entry" time into the Holy of Holy's.
When we entered the building, we could already hear worship music, and a bunch of people singing and talking. The place was packed!! We looked around for a place to sit to no avail. After a while, we decided that we just needed to find a place to put our stuff, because we knew we wouldn't be sitting much.

To reflect on what was going on Friday night, I was having a hard time getting into worship at first. Things were a bit distracting with people singing and having conversations around the room. I cannot remember how long it took, maybe 10 minutes, but I started feeling God pulling on my heart to pray. It was from then on that God began to move in such a mighty way that I have yet to process it all. I won't share all the intimate things that happened with me and God on this post, but let me tell you, I don't think I can go back to the "Old Me" any more.

There were so many things happening around the room that from a mortal’s eyes, it boggled my brain. I have seen God move in several different way’s in times of ministry and prayer. A lot of the things that I have experienced I saw there, but there was much more. There were different types of anointing that I have yet to understand. People’s bodies were moving in ways that I have never seen. At one point I questioned some of it and wondered what was going on. As I prayed through my confusion and continued to watch the move of God in the room, I realized that what I was seeing was truly from God, but my little brain could not comprehend it. I look forward to the understanding that God is currently giving me and will give me in the future on those things I have yet to understand.

So, Friday we stayed at IHOP until close to midnight and didn't get back to the house until around 12:30am. On Saturday morning, we were off again. We had an appointment for personal ministry time from 9:30am-11:30am to receive a prophetic word. They took our names and we sat in a waiting area just soaking on the Lord and listening to worship. I think around 10am they called me and my roommates into a room together and told us that while one person was being prayed over, the other 2 could be writing down what was being said. God's presence was so intense in that room, that it was a bit difficult to get everything that was spoken written down. Whooo!!!! I cannot tell you how right-on the prophetic words were. These people who were praying over us were so filled with God's spirit, it was over-whelming. Even as I write this I am in awe of God and His continuous work in my life. I am so thankful for Him and His encouragement!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!!

Once our prayer time was over, we experienced such an intense dowsing of the Holy Spirit that God touched us with Holy laughter. Now let me tell you, this is an interesting experience. For those of you reading this, if you have ever experienced this, you will know how silly it looks. For those of you who have yet to receive his Laughter Anointing, I pray that you will soon. Even as you read this, I pray that God will place His hand upon you and show you the fullness of Him. Even then, there is so much yet to see of who He truly is.

Ok, so I just went on a rabbit trail there; back to the story. So, we were touched by the laughter anointing and we were so loud, they moved us into a private room. We could not stop laughing (I am talking about loud, cackling, full stomach hilarity). All we had to do was hear the other person laughing and it was all we could do to not fall off our chairs!!!! The guy who told us to move made it a point to say "This is a good thing, and we want you to receive His spirit, but we also need to make sure that we do not distract the other's who are praying". This made us laugh even more. My goodness, my face hurt and I could feel my stomach muscles working from all the laughing. I am not sure exactly how long we were "out of it" in our “Holy Spirit Guffaw”, but we felt pretty good once it was over. ;-)
After our lovely time in our private room, we ate lunch then visited the IHOP bookstore. Around 2pm, we went to listen to a worship concert for a time of rest. I was so exhausted by that time I decided to take a short nap in the Mini Van. It was a great time of relaxation. There was a cool breeze blowing and the smell of fresh air made me relax.

Around 4:30 we decided to go downtown and have dinner and do some shopping. We wanted to get something nice for the lady who let us stay in her home. We found this really pretty plant at Home Depot. Then we went to the mall where we were going to have dinner. We arrived at our destination and it was really neat to see old Train's and other attractions that they had around. The place where we ate was called Fritzes. It was in the mall we went to but it was decorated with trains. Our food was delivered via train tracks on the top of the wall and then lowered down to our table. A waiter brought us our food and took our picture for us. We were probably the silliest adults in the restaurant because we wore the paper hats that they gave us. LOL! I remember seeing this mom sitting close to us giving us this smile that said “Oh you silly girls!!”. HA HA! It was a fun experience though.
Anyway, once we were done eating, we went back to IHOP for more Holy Spirit dowsing. When we arrived, they were having a church service and the guy who spoke was pretty funny. It was a good change for me. So, after the sermon they began worshiping again and throughout the service, people were being slain in the Spirit, receiving the Laughter Anointing, and being healed all over the room. It really was an amazing thing to see God move in such miraculous ways that I have never seen before. We again didn’t leave the service until a little before midnight.
In conclusion, on Sunday we had to leave. After we were on the road I began to feel sad that we were leaving and I didn’t want to go back home to the hum drum of everyday life. I wanted to continue to experience His presence like we did at IHOP. The cool thing is though; God doesn’t JUST show up in Kansas City MO, He shows up wherever He is invited. I am so excited to see what He is going to do from here on out. I don’t have to go to some special place to be anointed or hear from him, I can commune with Him every day, anywhere and anytime. This of course isn’t a surprise to me; I have always known this, but it is good to be reminded from time to time. ;-)