Experience:I have been really looking forward to all of the fun festivities this Christmas is bringing. I am so blessed to be a part of 2 different volunteering opportunities. First, I am going to ring the bell at Wal-Mart with my roomie and then the second I am joining some other really great friends (C.A.M.A.) in working at "Feed the Children". I am not sure what we will be doing exactly, but I am excited about it. I have wanted to volunteer for some time but really never followed through with it. I guess it just takes a little shove to get started. ;-) I think that helping someone in need is beneficial especially if one is having a hard time.
Highs and Lows:Two Christmases ago things were really hard for me. There was so much drama and heartache going on I didn't want to even celebrate Christmas. Last year it was better but very different from the Christmases of long ago. My family was separated and everyone was doing their own thing. I got to spend most of my Christmas with my Mom which was nice. This year I am finding a mix of major heartache and joy combined. It is a really weird thing to experience both at the same time. I want to celebrate the Holiday's, but then again I don't. I am finding myself straining to just focus on what is good about this season and not be an emotional basket case all the time. Sigh...... So that is my low. Just trying to hold my head above water to breathe and listen for God's voice.
My highs are much better of course. ;-) I am looking forward to being creative and baking things. I think I will start a painting again. I have had a picture in my mind for some time now, and since I am blessed to have a little bit of a Christmas break this year, I will start it. Painting, making bread and just wanting to bless others is a very therapeutic approach to sadness. I thank God for these talents that He has given me to pull me through the muck.
Handel’s Messiah:(This will be a topic for another post including pictures and video later.) I was so blessed to be invited to watch Handel’s Messiah performed live. The opera was AMAZING!!! The talent that these people have is SPECTACULAR!! What an amazing treat to be a part of. Thanks Cara for inviting me. I will cherish that moment.
On that note, I found a song from another concert for Handel’s. Amazing. This is a great start of a most wonderful time to celebrate Christ's birth.
I totally get what you are saying about not wanting to celebrate christmas and just trying to keep your head up above water.... there is just something about growing up that is so dissapointing. I mean, what happened to the days of peace and trust and joy especially when it comes to family? I have to be honest and say that most times I think that if I didnt have Obi I would walk away from my family and never look back.. Its heartbreaking. I think maybe babies are the ties that bind us to eachother cause they are sometimes the one thing that brings joy.
ReplyDeleteUgh,, my heart is hurting as I write this....I think its these times that suck so bad, that cause us to seek God harder, out of desperation. I remember getting my heart broke as a child and just sobbing in my pillow until my mom would come in and comfort me. IT sucks growing up cause we dont have that so much anymore,,,,we have to sob in Gods arms which takes more faith cause you dont have anything physical to hold onto...
anyway,,, I feel ya girl and i'm impressed that you are giving out of your hurt, rather than swimming in it.... I gotta take a few lessons from you.
I love you, you gorgeous thing!!!!
cindie
I know all about the highs and lows. Be encouraged that brighter days will come and joy will flood your heart.
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