Clouds

It’s time to put that creativity to the test. I am finally feeling ready to start painting. I am actually really excited about it. I might even throw in a little uncertainty in there, but none the less I am ready to begin. I am not sure when the last time was that I touched a paint brush. I know it was last year some time, but goodness, it seems like forever.

When we went to Kansas, I think God opened my eyes even more to the beauty of his nature. The things I saw almost took my breath away. I cannot explain my fascination, but I truly believe that it is Devine intent to show me ways that I can worship Him. Does this make sense? As we were driving to and from Kansas, I could not take my eyes off the skies. The clouds were absolutely gorgeous!!!! They kept changing, moving, forming, and evolving. The sky was such a beautiful blue, and then at times it would turn gray. It seemed as though God was swooshing the clouds here or there just to see what shapes he could make.

Besides all of that, it has taken me a while to feel inspired to paint again. I was going through a lot of emotional healing this past year and half, so it was hard for me to get into it. The last thing I started painting was this dance picture which involved a ton of skin. Skin is NOT easy to paint. Skin has to be translucent and I cannot even tell you how hard it is to do that. Besides, when I paint, I tend to use A LOT of paint because I like texture, and I like certain parts of a picture to stand out. So, I got frustrated and stopped.

Anyway, I wanted to start practicing how to paint sky and clouds. Once we got back from our trip, I thought how great it is to have the opportunity to use some of these photos that I took as my starting point. I am not really sure what it is going to look like because I am still discovering my own style of painting. I try to paint things as natural looking as possible, but common, how natural of a look can you get when you are an amateur at this, plus I use acrylic paints, so it is not as easy to blend things.

Here are just a few of the photos that I have with me of the pictures I took of clouds. I am not sure which one I am going to use, but I will try and post an update as I move toward the finish.

IHOP- Kansas City Missouri

Have you ever gone to the International House of Prayer, or perhaps visited their site or listened to their music? Well, I have always wanted to go. I have heard so many people talk about what a great experience it is. I will post pictures a bit later.

The weekend of April 30th-May 3rd my roommates and I went on an adventure. This was an adventure that had no boundaries where God was concerned. We literally did not know what to expect. This may be a bit lengthy, but here is our story in a nutshell:

On Friday morning we set out a little before 5am. We packed the car, and off we went. It was a great time of good conversation, laughter and many pit stops. ;-) Anyway, it took about 9.5 hours to get there. Our friend Kari's mom took us in and let us stay at her beautiful home and we are all so thankful for that. She made us dinner and we sat and talked for a while, then went to join a service at IHOP.
We arrived at IHOP around 8:40ish and found that it was closed. Some girls saw us walk around and asked if we were looking for the Prayer Room and directed us to get on a shuttle to go to a different location. So off we went. There were a couple of people already on the bus, and the guy that sat behind us asked if he could pray over us. It was a great prayer and a perfect "entry" time into the Holy of Holy's.
When we entered the building, we could already hear worship music, and a bunch of people singing and talking. The place was packed!! We looked around for a place to sit to no avail. After a while, we decided that we just needed to find a place to put our stuff, because we knew we wouldn't be sitting much.

To reflect on what was going on Friday night, I was having a hard time getting into worship at first. Things were a bit distracting with people singing and having conversations around the room. I cannot remember how long it took, maybe 10 minutes, but I started feeling God pulling on my heart to pray. It was from then on that God began to move in such a mighty way that I have yet to process it all. I won't share all the intimate things that happened with me and God on this post, but let me tell you, I don't think I can go back to the "Old Me" any more.

There were so many things happening around the room that from a mortal’s eyes, it boggled my brain. I have seen God move in several different way’s in times of ministry and prayer. A lot of the things that I have experienced I saw there, but there was much more. There were different types of anointing that I have yet to understand. People’s bodies were moving in ways that I have never seen. At one point I questioned some of it and wondered what was going on. As I prayed through my confusion and continued to watch the move of God in the room, I realized that what I was seeing was truly from God, but my little brain could not comprehend it. I look forward to the understanding that God is currently giving me and will give me in the future on those things I have yet to understand.

So, Friday we stayed at IHOP until close to midnight and didn't get back to the house until around 12:30am. On Saturday morning, we were off again. We had an appointment for personal ministry time from 9:30am-11:30am to receive a prophetic word. They took our names and we sat in a waiting area just soaking on the Lord and listening to worship. I think around 10am they called me and my roommates into a room together and told us that while one person was being prayed over, the other 2 could be writing down what was being said. God's presence was so intense in that room, that it was a bit difficult to get everything that was spoken written down. Whooo!!!! I cannot tell you how right-on the prophetic words were. These people who were praying over us were so filled with God's spirit, it was over-whelming. Even as I write this I am in awe of God and His continuous work in my life. I am so thankful for Him and His encouragement!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!!

Once our prayer time was over, we experienced such an intense dowsing of the Holy Spirit that God touched us with Holy laughter. Now let me tell you, this is an interesting experience. For those of you reading this, if you have ever experienced this, you will know how silly it looks. For those of you who have yet to receive his Laughter Anointing, I pray that you will soon. Even as you read this, I pray that God will place His hand upon you and show you the fullness of Him. Even then, there is so much yet to see of who He truly is.

Ok, so I just went on a rabbit trail there; back to the story. So, we were touched by the laughter anointing and we were so loud, they moved us into a private room. We could not stop laughing (I am talking about loud, cackling, full stomach hilarity). All we had to do was hear the other person laughing and it was all we could do to not fall off our chairs!!!! The guy who told us to move made it a point to say "This is a good thing, and we want you to receive His spirit, but we also need to make sure that we do not distract the other's who are praying". This made us laugh even more. My goodness, my face hurt and I could feel my stomach muscles working from all the laughing. I am not sure exactly how long we were "out of it" in our “Holy Spirit Guffaw”, but we felt pretty good once it was over. ;-)
After our lovely time in our private room, we ate lunch then visited the IHOP bookstore. Around 2pm, we went to listen to a worship concert for a time of rest. I was so exhausted by that time I decided to take a short nap in the Mini Van. It was a great time of relaxation. There was a cool breeze blowing and the smell of fresh air made me relax.

Around 4:30 we decided to go downtown and have dinner and do some shopping. We wanted to get something nice for the lady who let us stay in her home. We found this really pretty plant at Home Depot. Then we went to the mall where we were going to have dinner. We arrived at our destination and it was really neat to see old Train's and other attractions that they had around. The place where we ate was called Fritzes. It was in the mall we went to but it was decorated with trains. Our food was delivered via train tracks on the top of the wall and then lowered down to our table. A waiter brought us our food and took our picture for us. We were probably the silliest adults in the restaurant because we wore the paper hats that they gave us. LOL! I remember seeing this mom sitting close to us giving us this smile that said “Oh you silly girls!!”. HA HA! It was a fun experience though.
Anyway, once we were done eating, we went back to IHOP for more Holy Spirit dowsing. When we arrived, they were having a church service and the guy who spoke was pretty funny. It was a good change for me. So, after the sermon they began worshiping again and throughout the service, people were being slain in the Spirit, receiving the Laughter Anointing, and being healed all over the room. It really was an amazing thing to see God move in such miraculous ways that I have never seen before. We again didn’t leave the service until a little before midnight.
In conclusion, on Sunday we had to leave. After we were on the road I began to feel sad that we were leaving and I didn’t want to go back home to the hum drum of everyday life. I wanted to continue to experience His presence like we did at IHOP. The cool thing is though; God doesn’t JUST show up in Kansas City MO, He shows up wherever He is invited. I am so excited to see what He is going to do from here on out. I don’t have to go to some special place to be anointed or hear from him, I can commune with Him every day, anywhere and anytime. This of course isn’t a surprise to me; I have always known this, but it is good to be reminded from time to time. ;-)

I have a new cousin!

My cousin Cindie, who lives in Arizona, just had her first baby. He was 10lbs 4.2 ounces born today 04.29.10. His name is Obidiah Xavier.

Photo Shoot

It was a cold, over cast day. I made my way over to join CAMA with a bit of excitement and uncertainty of what lay ahead. As I walked into the house, Cara smiled at me and said “You ready to go take pictures in the rain?” All I did was smile and she giggled.
That was the start of our adventure. Cara, Melody, April and I snuck into April and Kyle’s bedroom to begin our “Photo Op Fixin’s”. Cara cut up a dress and had me wear the skirt part, and then she fluffed up my hair and gave me a necklace to wear. April had an old wedding dress that she found on Craig’s List that Cara spruced up with a shawl and belt. Melody wore an old recital dress. Cara found a skirt that she found at Good Will. It was fun just having the four of us together playing “Dress Up”. After we were finished, we all shuffled out the door with all our shoes and fun photo props and were off to Ellicott Colorado to do a photo shoot in an old junk yard. This particular one had some really great "Old" cars.

HELP Me JESUS!!!

So, I haven't blogged in a while. I guess I just haven't felt the umph to do it, although there are so many ideas raging through my mind at different times. I guess, to be completely honest, I have had a lot of things on my heart that I have been wanting to tackle and I keep wondering "Is this something that I can blog about? Can I really be THAT transparent with everyone?" Well, in some way's I think I can.

Today's issues: Hurt, Forgiveness, Trust, SCRAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ever felt like that? Ever wanted to just turn around and run as FAST AS YOU CAN???
Man o' Man! Sometimes I even think it would be easier to just turn my back and run; choosing to not deal with the pain and discomfort of the IN YOUR FACE issue set before you.

In the last 10 years, I think I have faced some of the BIGGEST trials ever! I thought that moving to Colorado would make my life easier because God told me to move. I mean, life in AZ was certainly not a bowl of ice cream. I can tell you that as soon as I stepped into that U-Haul truck, my troubles were beginning, not ending. I certainly have had many blessings, but there have been too many times where my heart has been broken.

I have to wonder about the process after being hurt. For some people, they can just brush it off and move on. For others it becomes a huge issue of doing just that. How do you learn to trust others? I mean, none of us are perfect by any means. We all hurt each other in one way or another, sometimes without realizing it. This brings to mind that verse in Proverbs 3:6-8 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him,and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.

I know how easy it is to be focused on that pain. To be focused on how that other person hurt me. To be too focused on how I am going to get through this without crumbling. I love that this scripture tells us point blank how it should be. Who should we trust? Jesus! Who should we lean on? Jesus! Who do we keep our eyes on? Jesus! How do we keep from lashing out in our pain? Stray away from evil and keep our eyes on him! Jesus will bless us when we are willing to follow these guidelines, no matter what. THANK YOU JESUS FOR YOUR WISDOM AND YOUR LOVE.

As I am writing this, I see where and how God has been strengthening me and maturing me into the woman He wants me to be. I can only hope that as long as I do not turn my back and run away; keep my eyes on Him, then I will be a stronger person in the long run.

SHOW ME THE BUDGET!!!!!!!!!

Have you ever watched the movie Jerry Maguire? It's the scene where Tom Cruise yells "SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!!!!". Well, that is what I am doing to my budget; yelling at it.

Moving into 2010 has been interesting for me. I have been on the move to change bad habits and create new healthy ones. The first bad habit that I have been tackling is my “living life on the edge” budget. I pretty much knew how much money I had but I never paid attention to how much I was spending on one particular thing. I also was using deadly credit cards. I was numb to the dumbness of my life. I was living my life on Stupid instead of living it on SMART!! I am not saying that I am stupid, I am just saying that I like so many out there, ignored the issues that caused them to fall deeper and deeper into the earthly Hell called DEBT. So the buck stops here, literally. As Dave Ramsey would say, you must “Live like no one else, so that later you can LIVE LIKE NO ONE ELSE”. If you don’t understand the phrase, then I would recommend the book “Total Money Makeover” by Dave Ramsey.

How does one live life on a tight budget, say no to the unnecessary and hopefully plan for the unexpected? Since the beginning of this year, I have been transitioning into the Total Money Makeover mindset. I took a Financial Peace University course before Christmas last year, but really didn’t implement it hard core until January. So now I am budgeting, saving, and trying to figure out how the heck do I live off of a stipend of what I make? I have noticed that when you are trying to stick to a plan, it is certainly not easy. It’s not easy when fun things come around the corner and at the last minute you have to say no. This is not the end of the world, but it is certainly a change.

So, I have been avoiding this for a few weeks, but I know the time has come. I must record every penny I spend to figure out what I can fix in the future. This must be done for 4 weeks. I know too much spending for most people, really comes down to the food budget; you think you need this or that and before you know it, your money is gone. So here goes the next financial breakthrough in my life. I will record every single penny that I spend and try and figure out how I am blowing the cash. This idea is not my own, mind you. The idea comes from the book "Debt-Proof Living: The Complete Guide to Living Financially Free" by Mary Hunt. She is a Christian author who gives some great insight to living financially free. I read her book right after the Dave Ramsey one and really liked a lot of the idea's she had. Although I am very much a Ramsey fan, if you want to know the nityy gritty on how to budget, she's got it. Anyway, what she recommends is to have 3x5 cards on hand for each day's spending. You are to catalog every penny and then at the end of the day, put it in a file for that week. At the end of every week you are to put all the money on a spreadsheet, divide it into categories and then move on to the next week. At the end of the month you are to add up everything in each category and then figure out how much you spend for each thing. This might help to see if there is an area that is unnecessary.

So, to all my readers, here goes. If you have any good advise on budget's, please let me know. I am all ears.

Style of Worship

Ok, I am giggling as I write this first part of my post, because the word that I have been getting for a week or so now is a strange one. Prostrate. Sounds like prostate. HA! When I went to research different meanings of this, Google kept asking me if I really meant Prostate, so I had to laugh. Anyway, on a serious note, I have been getting this word, and also a picture. I kept seeing a man on his knees with head bowed and hands stretched forward cupped, ready to receive whatever from the Lord. This I believe is a significant form of worship.

Psalm 95:6
"Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the LORD our Maker."
Nehemiah 8:6
"Ezra praised the LORD, the great God; and all the people lifted their hands and responded, "Amen! Amen!" Then they bowed down and worshiped the LORD with their faces to the ground."
Genesis 24:48
"and I bowed down and worshiped the LORD. I praised the LORD, the God of my master Abraham, who had led me on the right road"

I think of getting on our knees, on our faces, or even completely laid
out prostrate before our God. It is the clearest expression of worship you see in the Bible.

There are so many times during worship, whether by myself or in the presence of others where I have this strong urge to fall to the ground before the Lord. Usually this entails me being very emotional and I am either on the verge of crying or might already be in the midst of the rain fall. Sometimes, I will be involved in worship and God will reveal something to me about Himself, or He will show me a picture, and from there I am lost in Him.

Take for example this last Sunday. I went to a new church to see if it was good and let me tell you the worship was awesome. I realize that you can feel the Holy Spirit anywhere, it doesn’t have to be anywhere in particular, but on that day I REALLY felt Him. For some of it I believe it was the songs they were singing, and for the rest I really really missed spending intimate time with my Father; I know I don’t do it enough. As I was standing there, I felt a strong pull to get down on my knees but because it was a newer church and I didn’t want to make a scene, I stayed standing. I lifted my hand and then the tears started to flow and I just absorbed His presence. At that moment, without knowing what was happening my body started to fall backwards and I had to catch myself with the chair in front of me and hold on for dear life. What an amazing moment that was for me to feel his presence and be enveloped in the essence of him; I was just there, with Him.

So, all that to say is this. Should I have just gotten down on my knees when I felt inclined to? Maybe. Or I could have chosen to just sit, which I did later because I know I couldn’t stand anymore. Ultimately, what I really wanted to do was speak to the Father in the spirit and cry out to him, not really caring what I looked like or what people thought. In a smaller church setting this is harder to do because let’s face it, you don’t want it to be loud and who knows if they encourage such things in public? Probably not. ;-) But man it would have been great. This brings to mind a moment that I had with God while in YWAM. We had a service in the middle of the day, and the music was loud enough to drown out anything out of the ordinary. There were many of us who felt the move of the Holy Spirit so we went to different parts of the sanctuary to pray. I did this as well and ended up laying prone on the floor crying my eyes out, snot flowing and really not caring. I was in the moment with my Father and no matter how messed up I looked or how much snot and tears covered my face afterword, I would never want to erase that moment of time. Everything within was drowning in His presence. Aahhh, what a memory! ;-)

How many times do we allow the presence of the Holy Spirit to envelope us like that? How often do we let go and let God? I know that is a cliche phrase, but really it works here. Do you fight with your urge to go deeper or is it easier to remain on the surface like you do every day and not really give in to the call of God? I feel so many times that I do this because I don't have time, or I don't want to mess up my makeup or I can think of so many other things worth my time to do. HA! What is worth my time is spending it with the Lord and being a subject to HIS will, and not my own. I am still working on this and I hope for the time where I can actually let God help me fill my time verses me trying to be the master of it.

So, going back to the style of worship that I mentioned before; to be prostrate or prone before the Lord. There's just something about being laid out prostrate before God in prayer and worship before Him. Why do you think that bowing down is so heavily linked to worship? What keeps us from bowing down before God in our Quiet Times/Personal Worship Times, or when worshiping with others? Should we be bowing down more in worship before God? Why or why not?

I am interested in hearing your views on this and also I would love to hear stories of how God has moved in your lives, whether it be through worship or prayer. Please write back, I would love to hear from you.