Yesterday I had my re-exam with my Chiropractor. I guess they do these every 12 visits. Anyway, I found out some great news. They can tell my posture is getting better. Soooo glad for that.
Also, they do this test to see how your body stabilized your weight and if it is level. You stand on this machine that has 2 scales (one for each foot) and it can tell how much weight you’re right or left side is carrying. If it's off, it’s due to sublexation in the vertebrae and also bad curvature in the spine. For my body, I carried 75 more pounds on my right than I did on my left when I first started Chiropractic care. Well yesterday, I am now only at 50 more pounds. So it's getting better. Yippeee!!!!!
I still have a long way to go, but I am happy to see progress.
On another note, they set up my standing desk at work. I have been waiting for the computer monitor and keyboard. When I arrived this morning they had the monitor (which was not set-up) and no keyboard. Found out they ordered the wrong kind of monitor that works with the kind of computer I have. The plan is to have 2 monitors and 2 keyboards hooked up to 1 computer in order that I can stand up or sit down at any given time while working. This will not be able to happen with the way my work station is set-up. And, I was told I am not eligible for a new computer until October so who knows what is going to happen. To be honest, I am frustrated because sitting too long at my desk causes pain and strain on my back, so I am getting antsy. Grrrrr.....
Anyway, its Friday so I am glad to have the weekend off. My roommate and I are going fishing tomorrow--so excited about that and my neices and nephews are coming home some time this weekend so I hope to see them soon also.
Happy Weekend everyone!!
Please be praying that this all works out. I just want to get healthy.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Double Wammy
So yesterday started out pretty good. I was still dealing with pain in my back, but for the most part, it felt stronger, so therefore I chalked it up to a good start of the day.
Note: This excerpt on today’s blog reflects thoughts and emotions strongly influenced by yesterday’s activities. I am still dealing with some of them today, but they are really not as bad as they were yesterday. I will describe what I know as truth at the end of the blog, but for now, let’s travel back in time to yesterday shall we?
The double whammy hit me----drum roll please…..
#1 Slam in the face: After I got settled into work, I started having a conversation with some co-workers--as it turned out, we began talking about dating--let it be known that I was the only single person involved in the conversation. The tables turned and we began talking about E-Harmony. Have any of you ever used their services? Well, at the time I used them, which was about 3-5 years ago, I wasn't too impressed. I wasn't ready for it, and therefore was hurt one too many times by all of the rejections I received. But, according to this particular conversation, it took a spin that I didn't particularly like.
I opened my big mouth and commented on the fact that I felt that maybe the men took a look at my picture and then weren’t interested (which basically chalks down to me not having much self esteem). My co-worker said something that really hit me hard--made me depressed. I was very sad when she said this. "Maybe for you Annjeri, you just need to become friends with someone, be best friends with them for a while and that is how you will find your man". Really????? That makes me feel SOOOOOO good. NOT!! Let alone the fact that men are visual people and therefore are apparently not attracted to thicker women. (I know this is not true, but I have had sooo many people make comments like this to me, I find it very difficult to not have that mentality myself) Basically, what she was really saying was “I am not going to find a man because I am pretty, he needs to get to know me personally and then be attracted.” Well, maybe that’s true to some degree, but it still hurts.
I have struggled for so many years with my weight and have had people say that I won’t find a man unless I am thin. GAAAAAAAA!!!! Makes me just want to scream. This is what the world is telling us people! They say that you have to look this way or that way in order to find love. Well, I find that to be a bunch of BULL HONKEY! I find it difficult already to have the oomph to get up every morning and eat right, and then do a work out every day. I already have difficulty with wanting to “Look Pretty” with make-up and nice hair because frankly “I DON’T FEEL PRETTY”.
#2 slam in the face: Ok, so the next thing that happened was we were talking about birthdays and how old some of us were. I always joke around and tell people that I am 27. The same co-worker who mentioned the issue about dating also said this…
Co-worker- “Annjeri, how old are you really?”
Annjeri- “I’m turning 32 next week”
Co-worker- “Really? I thought you were 37”
Silence Please. Shocked. Flabbergasted. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????????????
In order to cover her tracks, her face turned a bit red and then she said “Well, I always think people are older than they look”.
HA! WHATEVER!!! She was serious! I was dumbfounded. I couldn’t believe it. DO I REALLY LOOK THAT OLD?? Golly Gee Willakers Maynard! I seriously need to do something about this. Not only am I over wait, but I look OLD!!!!
Sheesh! How do people handle these types of hits every day? I mean, my goodness! It makes me gag!! I just want to bust out crying right now just thinking about it. First of all, the standards of today’s beauty are hardly reachable-- Beautiful Hair, Beautiful Skin, Beautiful Nails, Tight stomach, Firm Thighs and arms that do NOT say HELLO and GOODBYE in the same waive. I know so many absolutely gorgeous women who are lovely inside and out, and have weight on them. These women are women whom I admire. They have learned to love people and shine no matter what they look like. Some of them are married, some are not. No matter, they are still beautiful. I would love to be in that place where no matter what I look like (Bad Hair, heavy, WHATEVER) I want to shine and have confidence.
Let’s face it ladies. In today’s society, they say one thing, but I know that GOD sais something else. He made us all unique and beautiful. He made us with unique personalities, different types of hair, skin and body types. HE made us all LOVELY! Isn’t that grand? It’s just a matter of not only knowing this in our heads, but in our hearts as well. I certainly haven’t fully grasped it myself. I feel like God has shown me different things about myself in the last few months that make me rethink the whole idea that I am not pretty, or worthy of love. I know that I am pretty--in my own way and I AM WORTHY OF LOVE. I hate the fact that sometimes I look haggard and older than I really am. I hate the fact that I am heavy and I know I am being judged based on that. I certainly do not know what it is that I need to do differently in regards to getting to know men who would be willing to get to know the real me, not just what I look like on the outside.
Sigh….. But, this is all a learning process. I just hope that by next time, if someone decides to throw me a curve ball, I will be ready with a mitted hand to catch the ball before it strikes me in the head. I know that this time around of my journey through weight loss really has to be for me, and no one else. The last time I lost weight I did it to feel good, yes, but I did it because I thought guys would like me better if I were thin. So, now I have to change my way of thinking-- realize that weight loss is for MY health, no one else’s. I am a person that someone, whoever you are, will want me for me—all of me thick, thin, beautiful, haggard.
So, here is to the start of a new mind set. Knowing the truth from God, not from man. Striving to be healthy inside and out because God wants it, not man. I know that once that is grasped—it is attainable. Here is to a healthy me. ;-)
Note: This excerpt on today’s blog reflects thoughts and emotions strongly influenced by yesterday’s activities. I am still dealing with some of them today, but they are really not as bad as they were yesterday. I will describe what I know as truth at the end of the blog, but for now, let’s travel back in time to yesterday shall we?
The double whammy hit me----drum roll please…..
#1 Slam in the face: After I got settled into work, I started having a conversation with some co-workers--as it turned out, we began talking about dating--let it be known that I was the only single person involved in the conversation. The tables turned and we began talking about E-Harmony. Have any of you ever used their services? Well, at the time I used them, which was about 3-5 years ago, I wasn't too impressed. I wasn't ready for it, and therefore was hurt one too many times by all of the rejections I received. But, according to this particular conversation, it took a spin that I didn't particularly like.
I opened my big mouth and commented on the fact that I felt that maybe the men took a look at my picture and then weren’t interested (which basically chalks down to me not having much self esteem). My co-worker said something that really hit me hard--made me depressed. I was very sad when she said this. "Maybe for you Annjeri, you just need to become friends with someone, be best friends with them for a while and that is how you will find your man". Really????? That makes me feel SOOOOOO good. NOT!! Let alone the fact that men are visual people and therefore are apparently not attracted to thicker women. (I know this is not true, but I have had sooo many people make comments like this to me, I find it very difficult to not have that mentality myself) Basically, what she was really saying was “I am not going to find a man because I am pretty, he needs to get to know me personally and then be attracted.” Well, maybe that’s true to some degree, but it still hurts.
I have struggled for so many years with my weight and have had people say that I won’t find a man unless I am thin. GAAAAAAAA!!!! Makes me just want to scream. This is what the world is telling us people! They say that you have to look this way or that way in order to find love. Well, I find that to be a bunch of BULL HONKEY! I find it difficult already to have the oomph to get up every morning and eat right, and then do a work out every day. I already have difficulty with wanting to “Look Pretty” with make-up and nice hair because frankly “I DON’T FEEL PRETTY”.
#2 slam in the face: Ok, so the next thing that happened was we were talking about birthdays and how old some of us were. I always joke around and tell people that I am 27. The same co-worker who mentioned the issue about dating also said this…
Co-worker- “Annjeri, how old are you really?”
Annjeri- “I’m turning 32 next week”
Co-worker- “Really? I thought you were 37”
Silence Please. Shocked. Flabbergasted. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????????????
In order to cover her tracks, her face turned a bit red and then she said “Well, I always think people are older than they look”.
HA! WHATEVER!!! She was serious! I was dumbfounded. I couldn’t believe it. DO I REALLY LOOK THAT OLD?? Golly Gee Willakers Maynard! I seriously need to do something about this. Not only am I over wait, but I look OLD!!!!
Sheesh! How do people handle these types of hits every day? I mean, my goodness! It makes me gag!! I just want to bust out crying right now just thinking about it. First of all, the standards of today’s beauty are hardly reachable-- Beautiful Hair, Beautiful Skin, Beautiful Nails, Tight stomach, Firm Thighs and arms that do NOT say HELLO and GOODBYE in the same waive. I know so many absolutely gorgeous women who are lovely inside and out, and have weight on them. These women are women whom I admire. They have learned to love people and shine no matter what they look like. Some of them are married, some are not. No matter, they are still beautiful. I would love to be in that place where no matter what I look like (Bad Hair, heavy, WHATEVER) I want to shine and have confidence.
Let’s face it ladies. In today’s society, they say one thing, but I know that GOD sais something else. He made us all unique and beautiful. He made us with unique personalities, different types of hair, skin and body types. HE made us all LOVELY! Isn’t that grand? It’s just a matter of not only knowing this in our heads, but in our hearts as well. I certainly haven’t fully grasped it myself. I feel like God has shown me different things about myself in the last few months that make me rethink the whole idea that I am not pretty, or worthy of love. I know that I am pretty--in my own way and I AM WORTHY OF LOVE. I hate the fact that sometimes I look haggard and older than I really am. I hate the fact that I am heavy and I know I am being judged based on that. I certainly do not know what it is that I need to do differently in regards to getting to know men who would be willing to get to know the real me, not just what I look like on the outside.
Sigh….. But, this is all a learning process. I just hope that by next time, if someone decides to throw me a curve ball, I will be ready with a mitted hand to catch the ball before it strikes me in the head. I know that this time around of my journey through weight loss really has to be for me, and no one else. The last time I lost weight I did it to feel good, yes, but I did it because I thought guys would like me better if I were thin. So, now I have to change my way of thinking-- realize that weight loss is for MY health, no one else’s. I am a person that someone, whoever you are, will want me for me—all of me thick, thin, beautiful, haggard.
So, here is to the start of a new mind set. Knowing the truth from God, not from man. Striving to be healthy inside and out because God wants it, not man. I know that once that is grasped—it is attainable. Here is to a healthy me. ;-)
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Having Birthday Fun.
So, long story, but here are a couple of pictures from a birthday celebration with CAMA. We have a theme "Flamingo's". This cake is in memory of our mascott "Charlie".
More pictures on that to come.
More pictures on that to come.
Update
Hey all thought I would write-in for an update.
Projects: I have a couple of creative projects that I started working on. One is a huge canvas (I think I mentioned this a while back) where I want to paint something for my room. I am very excited about this. The place where I am living at now has had bare walls for waaaayyy too long. I just recently put up the prophetic painting in my room, and now it's time to start another. I was going to do this a week ago, but my back issues threw that out the window.
The second project that I started was painting the frames on a couple of pictures that I purchased in Gunnison last year. The frames are gold, and I am not too fond of gold décor, so I want to change it to black. I couldn't get the frames off, so I was trying to paint them with the glass--- Ya right! ;-) Paint was getting on the glass so I stopped. Sigh..... I need to find a way to get the frames off. Once I am done I will take pictures.
Oh, and I have to mention a couple of my birthday presents. Some of my bestest friends in Colorado (CAMA) gave me some beautiful gifts. 2 of which are cake, cookie and cup cake decorating books. I am so very excited about this. I might actually bake just to bake because these things are just too fun to let go to waste. I will post pictures of those also as I make an attempt. Tee Hee. ;-)
Weight Loss: Well, an attempt at losing weight has somewhat been pushed aside the last couple of weeks. I know I could have done better with eating, but I was just not into it. I guess when you are not feeling well, inspiration sorda goes out the window. It is a learning lesson for me though. I know that even though I don't feel inspired I need to try and push through it. So here is to a new start--again.
Back issues: The last couple of weeks have been a bit challenging, but I am crossing my fingers since yesterday and today seem a little better. I have been laid out with serious back pain, which of course does not allow me to do much. I have-thankfully-been able to hang out with friends and family a few times, but for the most part I have been going to the Chiropractor, to the gym (a few times) and then just hanging out at home. Tomorrow (Thursday) is a follow-up appointment to see how my back is progressing; more to come on that. In the mean time, I am continuing with my neck stretches (using the torture chamber) and occasionally going to the gym. That needs to get better.
Anyway, more later. Ta Ta.
Projects: I have a couple of creative projects that I started working on. One is a huge canvas (I think I mentioned this a while back) where I want to paint something for my room. I am very excited about this. The place where I am living at now has had bare walls for waaaayyy too long. I just recently put up the prophetic painting in my room, and now it's time to start another. I was going to do this a week ago, but my back issues threw that out the window.
The second project that I started was painting the frames on a couple of pictures that I purchased in Gunnison last year. The frames are gold, and I am not too fond of gold décor, so I want to change it to black. I couldn't get the frames off, so I was trying to paint them with the glass--- Ya right! ;-) Paint was getting on the glass so I stopped. Sigh..... I need to find a way to get the frames off. Once I am done I will take pictures.
Oh, and I have to mention a couple of my birthday presents. Some of my bestest friends in Colorado (CAMA) gave me some beautiful gifts. 2 of which are cake, cookie and cup cake decorating books. I am so very excited about this. I might actually bake just to bake because these things are just too fun to let go to waste. I will post pictures of those also as I make an attempt. Tee Hee. ;-)
Weight Loss: Well, an attempt at losing weight has somewhat been pushed aside the last couple of weeks. I know I could have done better with eating, but I was just not into it. I guess when you are not feeling well, inspiration sorda goes out the window. It is a learning lesson for me though. I know that even though I don't feel inspired I need to try and push through it. So here is to a new start--again.
Back issues: The last couple of weeks have been a bit challenging, but I am crossing my fingers since yesterday and today seem a little better. I have been laid out with serious back pain, which of course does not allow me to do much. I have-thankfully-been able to hang out with friends and family a few times, but for the most part I have been going to the Chiropractor, to the gym (a few times) and then just hanging out at home. Tomorrow (Thursday) is a follow-up appointment to see how my back is progressing; more to come on that. In the mean time, I am continuing with my neck stretches (using the torture chamber) and occasionally going to the gym. That needs to get better.
Anyway, more later. Ta Ta.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Praises, praises praises
So, today I consulted with my boss as well as our building services guy and we worked out a deal for my desk. If it works like they think it should, I think it will be perfect for me.
They are going to raise a side of my desk and add a computer monitor with a keyboard, and it will be connected to my regular computer so that I will not have to do anything but stand up and turn on the monitor. Yipppeee. This transition should happen Monday morning. Wish it were happening today, but I guess I will just have to be patient one more work day. Sigh.....
So, yesterday I had my last adjustment, and this morning my lower back was out again. Ugh! I had to go in and get another adjustment. I am praying that God will give me a brand new back. Sheesh!
So, this weekend I am going to focus on walking, walking, walking. Instead of doing the elliptical and bike, I will just take it easy and use the treadmill or walk outside. Hopefully that will not throw my back out any.
They are going to raise a side of my desk and add a computer monitor with a keyboard, and it will be connected to my regular computer so that I will not have to do anything but stand up and turn on the monitor. Yipppeee. This transition should happen Monday morning. Wish it were happening today, but I guess I will just have to be patient one more work day. Sigh.....
So, yesterday I had my last adjustment, and this morning my lower back was out again. Ugh! I had to go in and get another adjustment. I am praying that God will give me a brand new back. Sheesh!
So, this weekend I am going to focus on walking, walking, walking. Instead of doing the elliptical and bike, I will just take it easy and use the treadmill or walk outside. Hopefully that will not throw my back out any.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
It's me it's me it's me O' Lord, standing in the need of prayer
Hi all,
Sorry, long time in not posting, I know. This week has certainly been a challenge for me.
Dieting has been a yo yo thing for me last week, and also for this week as well. I have had a few setbacks that have frustrated me to no end. As I am writing this, I realize that making good choices even in the midst of my struggles will bring great rewards, so I need to keep that in mind.
I started my mini vacation last Thursday evening the 22nd and on Friday the 23 I cleaned, cleaned, cleaned and organized my room. I felt like my back was sore after it, but it felt really good to get it done. Then on Saturday the soreness increased and I realized that I probably did too much. Sunday it got worse and then by Monday morning (my last day of vacation) I could barely stand up straight. I was in so much pain it was all I could do to get up, eat, use the restroom and then lay down again. UGH!!! I went to the Chiro. earlier that day and got adjusted, which after that I was able to stand up straight and take a deep breath. Ever since then my back has progressively gotten a bit better but I am still in a lot of pain.
So, this is where I am at right now. I am dealing with serious back problems, trying to go to the gym and maintain movement to work out the kinks as well as stay in some sort of shape. I am extremely frustrated right now because for many years my back has kept me from doing what I love (Sports, hiking, standing for long periods of time, etc.). My prayer is that as I do the therapy, my back will begin to heal and I can move forward with my life. Right now I am stuck. Even house work is a challenge. Ugh! I so wanted to start a new painting while I had a break, but that didn't happen because of the pain.
So, here is my plan--I need to get a mechanical desk at work that allows me to either stand or sit (depending on what is comfortable at the time) but in order for me to get this, I have to have permission notes from my doctor. I already received one from my Chiropractor and now am waiting for my physician’s office to fax me theirs. This will help with some of the sublaxation in my back as well as take off a lot of the strain from my lower back. Sigh....hope they will let me have one. My job does not want to get one for me because they are so expensive. Also, I will try and maintain my exercise to 3-4 times a week and hopefully get back on counting my calories again. I do not want my physical issues to bring me down. They can so easily bring on depression and the “feeling sorry for myself” attitude, which I hate!
So, here is to praying away the pain and wishing for a brighter tomorrow. ;-)
On a happier note--I and my greatest friends/former roommates (CAMA) celebrated our birthday's together on Sunday. I was given 2 cake/cup cake/cookie decorating books that I am super excited to try out. I will post pictures hopefully from that fun celebration, as well as post updates on my future attemps and decorating deserts. Yippeee!!! ;-)
Sorry, long time in not posting, I know. This week has certainly been a challenge for me.
Dieting has been a yo yo thing for me last week, and also for this week as well. I have had a few setbacks that have frustrated me to no end. As I am writing this, I realize that making good choices even in the midst of my struggles will bring great rewards, so I need to keep that in mind.
I started my mini vacation last Thursday evening the 22nd and on Friday the 23 I cleaned, cleaned, cleaned and organized my room. I felt like my back was sore after it, but it felt really good to get it done. Then on Saturday the soreness increased and I realized that I probably did too much. Sunday it got worse and then by Monday morning (my last day of vacation) I could barely stand up straight. I was in so much pain it was all I could do to get up, eat, use the restroom and then lay down again. UGH!!! I went to the Chiro. earlier that day and got adjusted, which after that I was able to stand up straight and take a deep breath. Ever since then my back has progressively gotten a bit better but I am still in a lot of pain.
So, this is where I am at right now. I am dealing with serious back problems, trying to go to the gym and maintain movement to work out the kinks as well as stay in some sort of shape. I am extremely frustrated right now because for many years my back has kept me from doing what I love (Sports, hiking, standing for long periods of time, etc.). My prayer is that as I do the therapy, my back will begin to heal and I can move forward with my life. Right now I am stuck. Even house work is a challenge. Ugh! I so wanted to start a new painting while I had a break, but that didn't happen because of the pain.
So, here is my plan--I need to get a mechanical desk at work that allows me to either stand or sit (depending on what is comfortable at the time) but in order for me to get this, I have to have permission notes from my doctor. I already received one from my Chiropractor and now am waiting for my physician’s office to fax me theirs. This will help with some of the sublaxation in my back as well as take off a lot of the strain from my lower back. Sigh....hope they will let me have one. My job does not want to get one for me because they are so expensive. Also, I will try and maintain my exercise to 3-4 times a week and hopefully get back on counting my calories again. I do not want my physical issues to bring me down. They can so easily bring on depression and the “feeling sorry for myself” attitude, which I hate!
So, here is to praying away the pain and wishing for a brighter tomorrow. ;-)
On a happier note--I and my greatest friends/former roommates (CAMA) celebrated our birthday's together on Sunday. I was given 2 cake/cup cake/cookie decorating books that I am super excited to try out. I will post pictures hopefully from that fun celebration, as well as post updates on my future attemps and decorating deserts. Yippeee!!! ;-)
Friday, July 23, 2010
Setting goals and being inspired
Today is my first day of my summer "short" vacation. I am a bit sad because a friend of mine is getting married today in California, and I took the time off so that I could go. Alas, finances are short so I wasn't able to attend. But, I am still taking the time off for me, because I desperately need it.
Today, I had a fabulous hour of cardio at the gym. I did a little over 30 minutes on the elliptical and then 30 minutes on the stationary bike. I tried out the normal (sit up bike with the seat so small.....need I say more?). It hurt my Gluteus Maximus so badly I had to do the stationary. I guess my pelvis still needs a lot of work at the chiropractor before I can try out a spinning class. Ugh!!!
Anyway, I came home and decided I needed to set some goals. I know that healthy weight loss takes time, and a good weight loss is between 1.5 to 2 lbs per week. So, I took out my handy dandy purse calendar and set goals for myself each Friday. By December 31st, if I stay on plan then I should have lost 47.5 lbs. ;-) Wouldn't that be exciting? My journey is long, but that's OK. I want to get it off and keep it off--the right way.
I am going to start setting goals for each week as well. I want to maintain a 3-5 workout per week, and step it up a notch like I did today. It's more likely to look like a 4-5 workout week if I maintain good resistance training. I will add in daily goals of calorie maintenance a long with homework assigned by my chiropractor. I have to use this weird neck stretching contraption that we in my house like to call the "torture device". I will post picture a bit later. Right now I can't find the cable to connect to the computer.
On another note: I am going to start painting another picture. I really want to paint a picture for my room. My walls are completely bare and I have lived in this house for almost 2 years now. NOT ACCEPTABLE. ;-) I might paint some kind of floral pattern. I might even paint a prophetic picture that I have had in my head since being in YWAM. We will see. More to come on that.
Have a great day everyone.
Today, I had a fabulous hour of cardio at the gym. I did a little over 30 minutes on the elliptical and then 30 minutes on the stationary bike. I tried out the normal (sit up bike with the seat so small.....need I say more?). It hurt my Gluteus Maximus so badly I had to do the stationary. I guess my pelvis still needs a lot of work at the chiropractor before I can try out a spinning class. Ugh!!!
Anyway, I came home and decided I needed to set some goals. I know that healthy weight loss takes time, and a good weight loss is between 1.5 to 2 lbs per week. So, I took out my handy dandy purse calendar and set goals for myself each Friday. By December 31st, if I stay on plan then I should have lost 47.5 lbs. ;-) Wouldn't that be exciting? My journey is long, but that's OK. I want to get it off and keep it off--the right way.
I am going to start setting goals for each week as well. I want to maintain a 3-5 workout per week, and step it up a notch like I did today. It's more likely to look like a 4-5 workout week if I maintain good resistance training. I will add in daily goals of calorie maintenance a long with homework assigned by my chiropractor. I have to use this weird neck stretching contraption that we in my house like to call the "torture device". I will post picture a bit later. Right now I can't find the cable to connect to the computer.
On another note: I am going to start painting another picture. I really want to paint a picture for my room. My walls are completely bare and I have lived in this house for almost 2 years now. NOT ACCEPTABLE. ;-) I might paint some kind of floral pattern. I might even paint a prophetic picture that I have had in my head since being in YWAM. We will see. More to come on that.
Have a great day everyone.
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